28 Chapter 27: True Identity

Chapter 27: True Identity

As daughters of the Cui family, blessed with innate intelligence and nurtured by deliberate cultivation, we often see things that ordinary people cannot. I saw his situation and the possible future he might have, so from the beginning, even if it wasn't for Zhang Guoying, I would have resisted loving him.

崔家的女兒蕙質蘭心，又加上後天的刻意培養，我們往往能看出一些常人看不到的事情。我看出了他的處境，也看出了他很可能會有的未來，所以一開始即使不是因為張國英我也會心中抗拒去愛他。

No, that's not entirely accurate. As a daughter of the Cui family, if it weren't for Zhang Guoying, I would have approached him for personal gains, like my aunt. Ultimately, I might have used him, only to lose my heart and shatter my soul.

不，也不是全部，我是崔家的女兒，如果沒有張國英，我也會像姑姑一樣為了利益去接近他，最後估計很可能如對待張國英一樣，利用他卻也讓自己丢了心，斷了魂。

I inherited my aunt's teaching, but I lacked her cold determination. My aunt has always loved power and status, and she has never wavered in that regard, but I have.

我得了姑姑的親傳，可是我卻沒有姑姑的冷靜執着。姑姑愛的從來都是權利和地位，這一點，她從來都沒有變過，而我卻變了。

I couldn't bear this man who initially captured my affection and treated me with tenderness, care, and devotion. I would unknowingly let myself fall for him, becoming emotionally attached.

我受不了這個原本就讓我心生好感并且對我溫柔呵護，照顧有加的男人。我會不知不覺讓自己淪陷，從而愛上對方，從而感情用事。

My love runs deep, but it has never been passionate, never like a moth drawn to a flame.

我的愛很深很深，但是從來都不是轟轟烈烈的，從來都不會是飛蛾撲火的。

For example, when Zhang Guoying left, I knew I loved and cared for him. However, after weighing the pros and cons, I realized staying was better than leaving, so I stayed.

比如張國英的離去，我知道自己愛他，自己在意他，但是在權衡利弊之下留下比離開好，所以我留下了。

My love was rational and always accompanied by reason.

我的愛有着理智，并且始終帶着理智。

If not for Liu Hao's pursuit, this man I both loved and feared, I might never have gone looking for Zhang Guoying in my entire life. I would have forever kept my love for Zhang Guoying deep in my heart. When I thought of him, I would walk under the begonia flowers, which would have sufficed for a lifetime.

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如果不是因為劉昊的追求，這個讓我又愛又怕的男人，我也許這一輩子都不會去找張國英，我會把對張國英的這份愛永遠地埋藏于心裏。想他的時候就到海棠花下去散散步，就這樣這一輩子就足夠了。

When I encountered Liu Hao, I had no choice but to find Zhang Guoying. At that moment, finding him was my best option.

就是因為遇到了劉昊，讓我不得不去找張國英。因為此時我只有去找他，才是我最好的出路。

If I hadn't met Zhang Guoying, I might have loved Liu Hao and possibly devoted my life to him, advancing and retreating together, striving together, devising strategies for him, and pacifying the world. However, because of Zhang Guoying's presence, I felt that it would be a betrayal if I fell in love with someone other than him. Zhang Guoying could marry and love someone else first, but I couldn't allow myself to be that person.

如果沒有遇到張國英，我很可能會愛他，并且很可能會傾盡一生與他共同進退，共同拼搏，為他出謀劃策，平定四方。可是因為有了張國英這一個人，我感覺如果我愛上了張國英以外的人，那麽對張國英就是背叛，他張國英可以先結婚，先愛上別人，但是我不能允許我自己做那個第一人。

I wasn't entirely sure if Zhang Guoying still felt the same way about me when I went to Liangzhou in the future. He might have fallen in love with someone else or even married by now. Nevertheless, I wanted to find out for myself. If that were the case, I would quietly leave, forget him, and put him out of my mind for the rest of my life.

去涼州我也不是很确定張國英對我還是如初，他說不定愛上了別人，說不定已經有了妻子，可是我還是想自己去确定一下，如果他真的如此，那麽我也會一個人默默地離開，把他忘記，一輩子忘掉。